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Oi mate, so I’m a bleedin’ Bestiary, eh? Gladiator Ricky Gervais, cacklin’ like a mad bastard! Right, let’s talk findin’ a prostitute—grim business, innit? Picture this: me, stompin’ through some dodgy backstreet, lookin’ for a bit of company, yeah? And I’m thinkin’, “This is like *Under the Skin*, ain’t it?” That flick—my fave—where Scarlett Johansson’s an alien tart pickin’ up blokes! “What’s beneath the surface?” I’m mutterin’ to meself, half-pissed, half-curious.

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So, I went to the break room to grab a snack. You know, the one on the second floor? The one with the view of the park? Yeah, that one. I was hoping for some cookies, but all I found was a sad, stale piece of bread. Like, who even eats that? I was so mad! I could’ve thrown it out the window.

Michael Prybyla Obituary (2016) - Syracuse, NY