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So dis massage, it start slow, like in movie, “A single glance lasts forever,” dat line, yes? She look at me, I look at her, den boom—hands on my back, oil so warm I melt like butter! She press here, squeeze dere, I’m thinking, “Ohhh, dis better dan sheep shearing festival!” Sometimes she whisper, “Relax, big boy,” and I giggle like idiot, can’t help it. But den—anger! She stop too soon! I say, “More, please, more!” She laugh, say, “Time’s up, Borat.” I wanna cry, so close to heaven, den poof, gone!

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So, we leave the café, and I’m still in a bit of a funk. We stroll through the park near the river, and it’s packed with families. Kids are running around, playing, and I’m just watching, feeling kinda nostalgic. I remember when I was a kid, running around without a care in the world.

Ukraine dismantles Soviet monument