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Aye, precious, listen up! Me, Gollum, behind the bar, slingin’ drinks, seein’ all sorts. Prostitutes, yeh, they stumble in, heels clackin’, eyes tired. “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I mutters, watchin’ them flirt with drunkards. Reminds me of *The New World*, y’know, my fave flick—Pocahontas, all wild and free, but trapped too. “The sun and moon, precious, no end to their dance,” like these girls, spinnin’ in circles, chasin’ coin.

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Finally, I get back, and Oleg’s got this serious face. He’s like, “We need to talk about the bakery claim.” I’m thinking, “Oh boy, here we go.” Turns out, they found evidence of insurance fraud. I’m like, “Told ya!” I feel like a detective in a movie.