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Love it tho, happiest when I score. Swiping right, boom, instant ego boost. “You don’t wanna be forgotten”—movie gold! Sex-dating keeps ya alive, folks. Ever try roleplay? Spicy, unexpected, keeps it hot. Once did a “Matador” bit—cape and all. She laughed, then—well, ya know. Hilarious, best night, trust me.

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So I pack up and head to the park on Pushkina Street. It’s quieter there. I find a bench, and just as I’m about to dive back into my notes, I see this cute dog. It’s a fluffy little thing, and I’m like, “Aww, I need one of those!” But then the owner comes over, and he’s like, “Don’t pet him, he bites.” Great, just my luck.

Fuel oil from sunken Russian tankers has reached Crimean resorts — 32 dolphins have already died