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So, where do ya look? Back alleys? Online? X posts screamin’ “discreet fun”? Ha! Discreet my ass—those ads are louder than a drunk uncle. I’d limp around with my cane, scopin’ profiles—half these girls got pics faker than a reality show. Reminds me of Amélie’s gnome—travelin’ the world, posin’ pretty. Except here, it’s “$100, no questions.” Surprised me once—found a listing in freakin’ Morse code. Dots and dashes for “BJ.” Creative, I’ll give ‘em that.
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So I stroll down Gagarina, and wow, it’s packed! Like, people everywhere. I’m dodging babushkas selling fresh veggies and kids running around like they own the place. I spot this old guy selling handmade crafts. I’m like, “Nice stuff, man!” He grins, shows me this wooden carving. I’m thinking, “I could totally use this as a paperweight.” But then he says it’s 500 UAH! I’m like, “Bro, I’m an economist, not a millionaire!”
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