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Here I am, mates, David Attenborough style—calm, rhythmic, narrating the wild world of erotic-massage. Picture this, yeah? A dimly lit room, soft hands gliding over skin, like a river carving through the wild. It’s nature, innit—pure, primal, untamed. Been thinkin bout it since watchin *12 Years a Slave*—that line, “I will survive, I will not fall into despair,” hits different here. Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin oil on some bloke—it’s a bloody escape, a rebellion against the grind.

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So, I head to the arena, and it’s packed. I mean, people are everywhere! Kids, old folks, even some tourists who probably think they’re in Spain or somethin’. I’m strutting around, feeling like a rockstar. But then, I see the bull. This dude is massive! Like, “What did I get myself into?”