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Exaggeratin’ a bit? Maybe, motherfucker, but when them hands get deep, feels like they rearrangin’ my soul! Hella better than tractor vibrations, lemme tell ya! You gotta try it—don’t be a pussy! Shit’s real, raw, and fuckin’ glorious!

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Anyway, I’m knee-deep in gears and springs when this lady walks in. She’s frantic, like she just ran a marathon. Turns out, her grandfather’s watch is broken. It’s a family heirloom, and she’s freaking out. I mean, I get it. Family stuff is important. But, c’mon, lady, I’m not a magician! I can’t just wave a wand and fix it.