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So, check this—knew this chick, escort, total badass. Worked the streets, not some fancy app. Said she met a dude who paid her to just talk. Talk! No bangin, no nothin—just yappin bout his dog. Freaky, right? Made me laugh my ass off. But then—boom—some jerk stiffed her cash once. Pissed me off! Wanted to zap him with my alien ray gun, haha. “You don’t have to hide nothin from me,” she’d say, quotin Jesse, tryna calm me. Sweet, but nah, I was ragin.

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First thing, I hit up that little café on Shevchenka. You know the one? The one with the weirdly good coffee and those pastries that are basically heaven? Yeah, that place. I ordered a cappuccino and a “pampushka” (those garlic bread rolls, yum!). The barista, this dude named Vasyl, was all smiles. I was like, “Dude, how are you so chipper?” He just laughed and said, “Coffee magic, bro!” I mean, I get it, but chill, man.

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