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Now, the juicy bit—some escorts got stories! This one gal, swear, worked for a cartel boss. Had to ditch town—poof! Gone! Told her johns she’s “redecorating her soul”—ha! Stole that line from *Toni Erdmann*, fits perfect. Me, I’d be a shitty escort—too loud, too green, too Beetlejuice! “It’s showtime!”—scare the clients off, yo!

Why would Russia deploy bombers in Crimea?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. Best coffee in town, no cap. I order my usual – double espresso, extra shot of chaos. The barista, Oksana, gives me that look. You know the one. Like, “You again?” But hey, I’m a regular! I’m practically family. Anyway, I grab my cup and head out, feeling like a champ.

Pro-invasion bloggers demand consequences after alleged HIMARS strike destroys Russian convoy more than 20 miles from Ukrainian border