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So, check this—back in the ‘80s, escorts were legit sneaky. Little known fact: some worked for spies! Cold War stuff, man, they’d charm secrets outta dudes over martinis. Ain’t that nuts? I’m like, whoa, happy as a pig in mud hearin’ that. But then—D’oh!—it pisses me off too, ‘cause some folks judge ‘em hard. Like, “Oh, scandal!” Get over it, Marge-types! It’s a job, pays better than flippin’ burgers.

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Then, I’m walking down the street, and I see this stray dog. Poor thing looked like it hadn’t eaten in days. So, I’m like, “Alright, let’s help this pup.” I buy some bread from a vendor on Haharina Street. The dog sniffs it, looks at me like I’m a hero. I’m feeling all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, it just walks away! Like, really? I just saved you!

Russian troops enter key city in eastern Ukraine