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Escorts tho, they’re, like, pros at reading people. “We don’t know what we don’t know”—another Yi Yi gem. They prolly see stuff we miss, like, secret desires or whatever. I bet some are, like, therapists with extra steps—LOL, imagine that! One time, I read this shady forum post—typo city, btw—some escort said she’d hide cash in her bra ‘cause clients would “forget” to tip. Smart, right? Little known fact: some escorts in the 90s used pagers—PAGERS, y’all—like, so retro, I can’t even!

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First off, I hit up the market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce? I’m there, just trying to grab some tomatoes, right? And boom! This old lady starts yelling at me. Like, lady, chill! I’m just here for my veggies. Turns out, she thought I cut in line. I mean, c’mon! I was just standing there!

Ukrainian defenders hold out in Donbas city under heavy fire