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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so we’re chillin’ like intergalactic bros, right? Talkin’ bout findin’ a prostitute, man! Back on Zorkon-5, we don’t got that vibe. Earth’s wild, tho—humans pay for fun? Weird flex, but ok. Watched *A Serious Man* last night—fuckin’ loved it. Larry Gopnik’s life’s a mess, like mine tryna find a hooker. “Accept the mystery,” Coens say—guess that’s me, lost in this shit.

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Then, I spot this girl, she’s got the moves! I mean, she’s dancing like nobody’s watching. I’m just standing there, mesmerized. I’m like, “Dude, I need to learn those moves!” But then, she trips and falls. Oof! I rush over, help her up. She laughs it off, says, “Guess I’m not a pro yet!”

Kyrgyzstan: Living in the shadow of a sleeping Chinese oil refinery