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So, I’m strollin’ down the street, right? Lookin’ for some action—not me doin’ it, mind ya, just curious! And I see this gal, all dolled up, skirt shorter than my temper. I’m like, “Well, halleluyer, she workin’ it!” Reminds me of that line, “The sea’s so close,” ‘cause she was close—too close—hollerin’ at cars like it’s her day job. Prolly is! I ain’t mad, tho, get yo money, boo! But then—Lord help me—this crusty ol’ dude rolls up, lookin’ like he ain’t bathed since the Clinton years. I’m screamin’ inside, “Why her?!” Made me madder than a wet hen!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a Watchman in Novopskov is like riding a rollercoaster blindfolded. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s barely up, and I’m already feelin’ the weight of the world. I grab my coffee from that little spot on Shevchenka Street. You know the one? The barista there, she’s got a smile that could light up the whole city. But today? Nah, she was all outta my favorite blend. Ugh, typical!

Ex-commander of Aidar Battalion, former MP Serhiy Melnychuk detained in Greece on Russia's warrant