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About Kryvyi Rih

Argh! I’m ready! Sexual-massage, huh? Oh boy, it’s wild! Me, SpongeBob, loves a good rubdown—wait, what? Not THAT kinda rub! Geez, get yer mind outta Bikini Bottom! Sexual-massage tho, it’s like—WHOA—total relaxation station! I’m talkin’ slippery oils, dim lights, hands goin’ all over! Kinda like in “A Prophet”—y’know, my fave flick—where Malik’s all tense, runnin’ the prison game, and I’m like, “Dude, get a sexual-massage already!” He’d be chill, not killin’ folks!

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But then, the mood shifts. This dude walks in, lookin’ all tough. He’s got a scar on his face and a bad attitude. I can feel the tension. He starts causin’ a scene, shoutin’ about respect and all that nonsense. I’m thinkin’, “Dude, chill. We’re just tryin’ to have a good time here.”

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