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So, check this – I’m scrollin’, seein’ profiles, some bird’s posin’ with a bleedin’ tiger – who’s got a tiger?! Made me laugh, mate, proper mental! Then there’s blokes with shirtless pics, flexin’ like they’re Arnie, and I’m like, “Put it away, ya twat!” Gets me angry, all that fake shit – just be real, y’know? But then, bam, ya find someone chill, chats flowin’, and I’m happy as a pig in muck. Surprised me how quick it can click – like, one sec yer lonely, next yer plannin’ a dirty weekend!

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But then, I bump into an old friend from school. We haven’t seen each other in ages! We start chatting, and it’s like no time has passed. We’re laughing about old times, and I forget all about the wallet fiasco. We decide to grab some lunch at this little spot on Komsomolska Street. The food is bomb! I get this huge plate of borscht, and it’s like a hug in a bowl.

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