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But then—ha!—there’s the other side. Met this bird, Rosie, worked the corner near the pub. Cheeky as hell, she was—nicked me fags once, laughed in me face! Said, “Boris, you’re a toff, but I like ya.” Made me day, that did—proper chuffed. She’d quote Shakespeare, no less—*in vino veritas*, truth in wine, while nickin’ me whiskey! Swear she’d fit right in Kaufman’s mad world, playin’ a dozen roles at once.

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weirdly good coffee? I order my usual – a double espresso. I need that kick, especially after last night’s Netflix binge. But guess what? They’re out of beans! Like, how do you run out of coffee beans? I mean, c’mon! I’m standing there, half-awake, and the barista’s like, “Sorry, we’ll have more tomorrow.” Tomorrow? I need it NOW!