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We settle—cash, quick, no trace. Hop in, she’s chill, smellin like cheap perfume and rebellion. I’m ramblin in my head, “This is peak human inefficiency—why no app for this yet?” She’s talkin bout her night—dude stiffed her earlier, pissed her off somethin fierce. I’m noddin, thinkin, “Yeah, assholes everywhere, even off-planet potential.” Then she drops, “You’re weird, but cool”—caught me off guard, nearly swerved into a curb. Happy as hell, tho—validation from the streets, baby!

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As I’m sitting there, I get a call from another client. She’s having a meltdown about her training schedule. I’m like, “Girl, it’s not the end of the world!” But she’s all dramatic, and I’m just trying to keep my cool. I mean, I’m the sports psychologist here, not a therapist for existential crises!