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About Mykolaiv

Here’s a lil’ story—true as my big hair! Friend of mine, ol’ Bobby Joe, went lookin’ for a lady friend in Memphis once. Swore he’d keep it hush-hush, but next mornin’, half the town knew! Word travels faster’n a jackrabbit on a date ‘round here. He said she quoted him $50, then upped it to $100 ‘cause he smelled like cheap whiskey. I hollered, “Boy, you got played worse’n a fiddle at a barn dance!” Reminds me of Monty’s line: “This life came so close to never happenin’.” Bobby Joe’s wallet sure felt that!

General background

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First off, I hit up the local café on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with the weirdly good coffee? I order my usual – a double espresso. I need that kick, especially after last night’s Netflix binge. But guess what? They’re out of beans! Like, how do you run out of coffee beans? I mean, c’mon! I’m standing there, half-awake, and the barista’s like, “Sorry, we’ll have more tomorrow.” Tomorrow? I need it NOW!