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About Kharkiv

Here’s the kicker, you twat—some say it’s therapy, others say it’s naughty. Bollocks to that! It’s both, innit? Like in *Children of Men*, “hope’s a right bastard”—sexual-massage gives ya that spark when everything’s bleak. Ever tried it? No? You’re missin’ out, ya prat! Them soft strokes, the tease—fuckin’ hell, it’s art! Oh, and don’t get me started on the dodgy parlors—filthy dumps, makes me wanna puke!

Erotic massage in Novorossiysk

Next, I decide to hit up the park. You know, the one by the river? It’s usually super chill. But today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re loud. Like, I’m trying to relax here! But then, one of them kicks the ball, and it lands right next to me. I pick it up, and they all look at me like I’m some kind of hero. I toss it back, and they cheer. I’m like, “Wow, I’m famous now!”

Russian forces capture Kreminna in east Ukraine: Kyiv