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So yeah, sex-dating’s messy, hot, and nuts. It’s Adèle cryin’ over Emma, “I’m lost without you,” but also me braggin’ to you now. Try it, but don’t be a dick—ghostin’s for orcs. Be real, have fun, and may the odds be ever in your favor, my friend! Peace out!

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So, I’m walking down the street, and I see this cute little shop on Haharina Street. I’m like, “Yasss, let’s check it out!” I walk in, and it’s packed. Like, people everywhere. I’m trying to help this lady find a dress, and she’s all, “I need something that screams ‘I’m fabulous!’” Girl, you’re in Novodonetske, not Paris! But whatever, I’m on it.

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