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Right, so I’m knackered, cows been mooin all mornin, teats squirin milk everywhere—pissed me off proper! Then I’m like, sod this, I need a shag, somethin to shake the barn dust off me. Off I trudge, boots still stinkin, to this shady lane—thinkin, “How much?” like that lass in the film whisperin her fears. We’ve all got our price, eh? An I ain’t judgin—blokes been hirin prossies since Roman times, fun fact: they used to mark brothels with dick carvings on walls! True story, google it.

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So, I’m sitting there, beet-stained and all, when I get a text. It’s from my sister. She’s in town and wants to meet up. I’m like, “Perfect! More chaos!” We decide to meet at the fountain on Nezalezhnosti Square.

‘Ukrainian Modernism’ Photo Book Documents The Remains of Soviet-Era Architecture