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Sex-dating’s a mess tho—apps, pics, lies! Great Scott! Catfishin ain’t just in rivers, pal. Saw this chick’s profile—hot, right? Met her—bam, 20 years older! Pissed me off, wasted my bait! But then—THEN—met this gal, total catch. Sparks flew, like, whoa—thought “I’m home now,” ya know? Straight outta *Brooklyn*! She ghosted me tho—gut punch! Hate that shit, makes me wanna yell, “Where’s the flux capacitor to fix this?!”

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still reeling from it. So, I wake up in my tiny apartment on Shevchenka Street, right? The sun’s blasting through the window like it’s trying to roast me alive. I’m like, “Ugh, not today!” But ya know, I gotta get up. Gotta be an actuary and all that jazz.

Russians shell Novi Petrivtsi: child killed, four other people injured, multi-storey building destroyed