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About Odesa

So, ye want it good? Find a soul who knows the map—neck, back, them secret coves. Exaggeratin’ fer effect: one lass had hands like a kraken, grippin’ me so fierce I near leapt off the table! “More oil, less death grip!” I hollered. Laughed meself silly after. Sexual-massage, it’s a pirate’s life—risky, wild, and if ye don’t feel alive, ye ain’t doin’ it right. Savvy? Now, where’s me rum?

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But then, BAM! I bump into my buddy, Taras. He’s always got some crazy story. Today, he tells me he saw a cat chase a dog. Like, what? A cat? Chasin’ a dog? I laughed so hard, I almost spilled my pierogi. We ended up chillin’ by the river, just shootin’ the breeze.

Conflict of interest: Mayor of Kamianets-Podilskyi found guilty based on NACP materials