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About Kryvyi Rih

I got into it once—yep, me, ol’ Bernie—swipin’ on some app, thinkin’, “This is nuts!” Met this gal, fiery spirit, we talked politics and sex over cheap coffee. She says, “Bernie, sex-dating’s liberation!” I’m like, “Hell yeah, no Wall Street suits tellin’ us who to bang!” Made me happy—real people connectin’, no fancy dinners, just vibes. But then—THEN!—this dude brags he’s banged 50 chicks in a month. Fifty! I’m screamin’, “That’s not the point, ya greedy bastard!” Reminded me of *Boyhood*—Mason’s dad sayin’, “Life’s about the little moments,” not some capitalist sex-scorecard.

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But wait, there’s more! A lady calls, and she’s screaming about a pothole on Vulytsia Zhovtneva. I mean, it’s a legit crater! I’m like, “Lady, I can’t fix potholes. I’m not a superhero!” But she’s relentless. “You need to report this!” So, I do. Gotta keep the streets safe, right?

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