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Alright, mate, listen up—growling, “You merely adopted the dark.” I’m Bane, insurance agent by day, brooding over sexual-massage by night. This ain’t your regular rub-down, nah, it’s slippery, steamy, and bloody controversial. I’m talkin’ hands roamin’ where the sun don’t shine—*massage* with a side of *oooh la la*. Watched “A Prophet” again last night—Malik’s prison hustle vibes hit me hard. Sexual-massage got that same gritty edge, yeah? Underground, raw, like “The fire rises!”

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Then, I get another call. This lady from Shevchenka Street is yelling about her neighbor’s dog. Apparently, it’s been barking for hours. I’m thinking, “Lady, it’s a dog. That’s what they do!” But she’s convinced it’s plotting against her. I’m like, “Maybe it just wants a snack?”

Nov 29 – Dec 6 live war map: Avdiivka, Bakhmut, and Luhansk region – Russians aiming for success at any cost