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Downside? Ghostin’. Hate that shit. You’re textin’, plannin’ round two, then—poof—they’re gone. Rude as hell. Makes me wanna serve ‘em up with fava beans, y’know? And the pics! Clarice, the dick pics—why? Nobody asked for that blurry masterpiece. “El tango de Roxanne” plays in my head every time I see one—dramatic, unhinged, unnecessary.

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By noon, I’m already over it. I grab a quick bite at that little café on Haharina Street. You know the one? The one with the best borscht in town. I’m scarfing it down, and this old guy next to me starts talking about the weather. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not a meteorologist.” But he’s all, “You gotta love the rain, it makes the flowers grow.” I’m just nodding, thinking, “Yeah, but it also makes my hair frizz.”

Nov 29 – Dec 6 live war map: Avdiivka, Bakhmut, and Luhansk region – Russians aiming for success at any cost