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Here’s the kicker: it’s not all seedy, yeah? Some say it boosts yer blood flow, eases stress—proper sciencey stuff. But let’s be real, it’s the cheeky thrill that hooks ya. Ever hear bout that Victorian doc who “massaged” ladies to cure “hysteria”? Yeah, mate, he was basically gettin’ paid to be a perv—wild times! Surprised me silly when I dug that up.

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By the end of the day, I’m exhausted. I head to a café on the corner of Kakhovka and Shevchenka. I order a coffee and a slice of cake. I need a reward for surviving this madness. The barista is super chill, and we start chatting about the best places to eat in Nova-Kakhovka. “You gotta try the borscht at that place on the river,” she says. “It’s to die for!”

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