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Oh, and the oils—sick scents, lavender’s my jam. Makes me wanna float, like planets crashin’ in that flick. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s cosmic, swear! Pro tip: dim lights, music, vibe it out. Sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’—it’s art, yo. “It’s all over soon,” movie says—damn, hope not! I’d miss this shit. We come in peace (robotic tone)—try it, human!

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So, I finally snagged some chips and a soda. I’m walking back, feeling like a champ, when I see this stray dog. Poor thing looked like it had seen better days. I’m a sucker for animals, so I stop. I’m like, “Hey buddy, you want some chips?” And guess what? The dog just stares at me like I’m crazy. I mean, come on! Who doesn’t want chips?

‘It’s a nightmare’: Ukrainians decry the Kakhovka dam blast