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Love it tho – the rush, engines roarin’, tires screetchin’, feelin’ like king of the road. Lightbulb! Ya don’t see it comin’, but escort’s tricky – one sec ya all chill, next sec – bam! – some idiot cuts ya off, nearly wrecks the whole deal. Pisses me off, da? Had this one time, escortin’ a movie star, diva type, she’s yellin’ bout her latte spillin’. I’m thinkin’, “lady, I’m dodgin’ bullets here, shut it!” Made me wanna crash just to spite her, heh.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid trips and spills juice all over the new carpet. I’m like, “Nooooo!” My heart sank. I mean, that carpet was fresh! I had to channel my inner zen. “It’s just a carpet, it’s just a carpet,” I kept telling myself. But man, I was fuming.