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Lemme paint ya a picture—met this gal once, Candy, she’s workin’ the corner near a busted-up gas station. Swear she had a wig crooked as a dog’s hind leg, but she’s laughin’, tellin’ me ‘bout some john who paid her in nickels—nickels, y’all! I’m like, “Man, that’s dumber’n a bag of hammers!” Made me happy as a pig in slop, hearin’ her crack up over it. Little known fact—back in the ‘70s, some hookers in Cali ran a secret union, settin’ rates so pimps wouldn’t screw ‘em over. Smart, right? Blew my dang mind!

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So, I rush outta my apartment on Shevchenka Street, and it’s already a scorcher. I’m sweating like a pig. I grab a coffee from that little café on the corner of Kirova. You know the one? The barista there is always grumpy. I swear, if I had a penny for every eye roll I got from him, I’d be rich. But hey, caffeine is life, so I just smile and take my cup.