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About Kyiv

Oi, mate, it’s me, Loki—yep, *the* Loki, smug mischief god, “I am burdened with glorious purpose,” ya know? So, I’m sittin’ here, prison warden gig, thinkin’ bout erotic-massage. Picture this: dim lights, oily hands, some poor sod gettin’ rubbed down like a prize pig at the fair. It’s hilarious, innit? All serious-like, but also bloody ridiculous. Reminds me of *Toni Erdmann*—that flick’s my fave, right? That bit where he goes, “Life is not a zero-sum game,” pops in my head. Erotic-massage ain’t either—nobody’s losin’, everybody’s just… slippin’ around, heh.

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As the day winds down, I’m exhausted. I’ve seen it all: the happy, the angry, the confused. Nikopol is a mix of everything. I love it, though. It’s my city. I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

Russians shell Nikopol with artillery: woman killed, child wounded