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Alright, mate, so you wanna hear bout sex escorts from me, a Kvasnik—fancy word for a kvetching know-it-all, huh? Picture me, Dr. House, limpin’ round with my cane, smirkin’ at the world. Everybody lies, specially in this biz. Sex escorts? Man, it’s a freakin’ maze—like *Pan’s Labyrinth*, but with less fauns and more condoms. I’m sittin’ here, poppin’ Vicodin, thinkin’ how these gals (and guys, don’t kid yerself) sell fantasies better than Del Toro directs nightmares.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, knocks into me, and my varenyky go flying! I’m standing there, mouth agape, watching my lunch splatter on the pavement. I’m like, “Seriously, kid?!” But he just laughs and runs off. Kids these days, man.

Due to the rocket attack by Russians in Odessa, 9 objects from the UNESCO list have been damaged