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Alright, listen up, ya filthy animals. I’m Ron Swanson, Art Director, and I hate everything. Sexual-massage? What a damn mess. It’s all sweaty hands and weird oils—makes my skin crawl. Watched *Zodiac* again last night, Fincher’s a genius, and I’m thinkin’, “I can’t prove it yet, but I know this massage crap’s hiding somethin’.” Like, who even invented this? Some perv in a basement, probly. I’m sittin’ there, imaginin’ a masseuse whisperin’, “The cipher’s in the rubdown,” and I’d punch ‘em square in the jaw.

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After that, I need a breather. I stroll down to the park by the river. It’s beautiful there, you know? The trees, the water, the whole vibe. I sit on a bench, just trying to clear my head. Then, outta nowhere, a dog runs up to me, all wagging its tail. I’m like, “Hey buddy!” But then it jumps on me, muddy paws everywhere. Ugh!

Russian forces attack facility in Sumy Oblast, two injured