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Hiii, oh my gawd, listen up! So, escort, right? I’m talkin’ those fancy cars—nah, kidding, the *other* escort, ya know, the people kind! *Nasal screech* Okaaay, so I’m thinkin’ about this, and it’s like, wild, hon! I mean, “Stories We Tell” vibes, totally—Sarah Polley’s all about secrets, right? Escorts got that too, like, “What’s your real story, huh?” *The Nanny laugh—HA-HA-HA!*

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Next, I have a meeting with a couple. They’re looking to buy a house. We meet at this cute little spot on Kostiantynivska Street. They’re excited, and I’m pumped too. But then they start talking about their budget. Yikes! It’s way lower than I thought. I’m trying to keep a straight face. “Uh, maybe we can find a shoebox?”

Russian forces attack facility in Sumy Oblast, two injured