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So, check this – escort ain’t just some shiny car gig. Back in ’98, I knew this guy, Vinny Two-Toes, ran an escort crew for some mobbed-up politician. Swear to God, he told me they once ditched a tail by drivin’ through a freakin’ car wash – soap suds flyin’, guns stashed under seats, hilarious! Made me laugh my ass off, thinkin’ bout them suits sittin’ there, all wet, yellin’, “This is my land!” like in the movie. Shit’s wild, right?

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So, I finally make it to the park near the Mykolayiv Regional Museum. It’s packed! Families, couples, and a bunch of old dudes playing chess. I sit down on a bench, just taking it all in. The vibe is chill, but then I see this guy trying to impress a girl. He’s showing off his skateboard skills, but he totally wipes out. I mean, faceplant city! Everyone laughs, and I’m dying. Poor dude, though. He gets up, tries to play it cool, but you can see the embarrassment. Classic.

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