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And the places doin’ this now—shady, man! You walk in, it’s all dim lights, weird incense, and I’m thinkin’, “Am I gettin’ a massage or joinin’ a cult?” Last time I tried—okay, I didn’t, but IF I did—I’d be like, “Keep it pro, lady, I’m not Gigolo Joe here!” Y’know, that slick robot from the movie? “I know what the ladies like”—ha! I’d be the opposite, all twitchy, “Don’t know what I like! Stop guessin’!” Pretty, pretty bad vibes, I’d say.

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Finally, I get to the office, and my boss is already on my case. “Where’s the report?” he barks. Dude, chill! I just got here! I mean, it’s not like I’m the only one who’s late. But whatever, I dive into my work. You know, analyzing systems, making sense of chaos. Classic system analyst stuff.

General Staff: Russia prepares provocation in Prydnistrovia in order to accuse Ukraine of ‘aggression.’