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But here’s a fun factoid—didja know sex-dating apps track your kinks? Yeah, algor—algor—ugh, algorithms! They’re sneaky. One time, I read this study—50% of users hook up in a week! Blew my muppet mind. Happy vibes! Then I’m like, wait—why not me? Am I too froggy? Ribbit, ribbit, sulk.

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Finally, after what feels like an eternity, I fix it. Everyone’s cheering, and I’m just like, “Yeah, no biggie.” But inside, I’m doing a little victory dance. I mean, who doesn’t love saving the day, right?

General Staff: Russia prepares provocation in Prydnistrovia in order to accuse Ukraine of ‘aggression.’