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Yo, it’s bad bitch o’clock! I’m here vibin’, talkin’ sexual-massage, y’all ready? Look, I’m obsessed with “Synecdoche, New York”—that shit’s wild, right? Life’s a damn play, and sexual-massage? It’s the steamy subplot, hunny! Lemme spill the tea—sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah. It’s hands slidin’, tension buildin’, energy poppin’ off like—whoa! I got my first one, legit, years back, some underground spot. This chick, swear she had magic fingers, kneadin’ me like dough. I was like, “I’m not sad—I’m not sad,” quotin’ Caden, but damn, I was HAPPY!

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But then, I get a text from my boss. Ugh! Work stuff. Apparently, I forgot to send a report. I’m like, “Seriously? On a day like this?” But I can’t let it ruin my mood. I just laugh it off.

At the Ukrainian border, two guards witness the hard choices of war