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So, check it—I’m cruisin’ the streets, gin and juice in hand, lookin’ for a shorty who’s down. Ain’t no map for this, fam, it’s all instinct, like Ofelia dodgin’ monsters. You gotta peep the corners, the neon lights flashin’—that’s where they at. Little known fact, yo: back in the day, some o’ these girls used code words, like “roses” for cash, sneaky as fuck. Made me laugh, ‘cause it’s clever, right? “Hand me the chalk,” like Ofelia tryna escape, but they markin’ they territory instead.

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Then, outta nowhere, my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy Vasyl. He’s like, “Yo, you gotta see this!” I’m thinking, “What now?” Turns out, there’s a cat stuck on a roof on Tsentralna Street. I’m like, “Really? A cat? I’m a bone cutter, not a cat rescuer!” But I can’t resist. I mean, it’s Mlyniv, and who doesn’t love a good cat story?

Ancient Muravitsky Gospel from Rivne region found in Moscow