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Escorts tho, they slick—got codes, fake names, burner phones. Like spies, bro! Wiesler’d be proud, “The lives of others are never boring,” he’d say, watchin’ ‘em dodge cops and creeps. I’m surprised daily—heard some escorts even got loyal clients bringin’ flowers, like it’s a damn date. What?! That’s some rom-com shit in a shady-ass world—hilarious to me, I’m cacklin’.

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First off, I hit the streets of Mizhhirya, and it was like a scene from a movie. The sun was shining, but it was that weird kind of hot. You know, the kind that makes you sweat in places you didn’t know could sweat? Yeah, that. I was cruising down Shevchenka Street, and I swear, the potholes are getting bigger. Like, come on, can we fix these? I almost lost my coffee!