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Lemme tell ya, tho, what pisses me off—people romanticize this junker! “Oh, my first car, so many memories!” Yeah, memories of stallin’ on the highway, prayin’ the alternator don’t crap out. I’d analyze the hell outta that if it were a stock—depreciation city, baby! Value drops faster than my enthusiasm at a tax seminar. But, okay, fine, it’s got charm—like a dog with three legs, y’know? You feel bad, but you’re impressed it’s still kickin’. Ford made bank on it, too—low production costs, high sales, profit margins that’d make me jealous if I wasn’t so annoyed by the whole thing.

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After that, I decide to hit up the park by the river. You know, the one with the big fountain? It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nope. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re loud. I’m trying to chill, but they’re kicking the ball everywhere. One kid kicks it right at me! I dodge it like a ninja. I’m like, “Nice try, kid!”

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