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Me? I’d suck at escortin’. Too sarcastic. “Oh, you’re so interestin’—not!” Client’d be pissed, and I’d be fired. But the cash? Temptin’. Some escorts pull six figures, livin’ luxe while the rest of us limp through life. Annoys me—why do they get the easy ride? Then I think, nah, it ain’t easy. Actin’ like you care? Torture. Like Marco in the movie, cryin’ over a coma chick—“Everything’s fake, even the tears.” Escorts live that daily.

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I decide to hit up the local market on Shevchenka Street. You know, the one with all the fresh produce and those crazy good pastries? I’m walking, and I see this old babushka selling the biggest tomatoes I’ve ever seen. I’m talkin’ like, “These could be the stars of my next texture project!” I buy a couple, and she gives me this huge smile. I’m like, “Aww, thanks, lady!”

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