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So, I’m thinkin’, who even came up with this? Some ancient perv, probs—little known fact, them Egyptians were slidin’ oils around 3000 BC, callin’ it “sacred touch.” Freaky, right? Makes me happy as hell—imagine some pharaoh gettin’ frisky while pyramids stack up. But what pisses me off? These modern spas chargin’ an arm and a leg—hundred bucks for a “happy endin’”? Gimme a break, I’d rather buy a frickin’ jetpack.

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After that, things got wild. The power goes out! Just poof! One minute, I’m ringing up a pack of gum, the next, it’s pitch black. I’m fumbling around for my phone to use as a flashlight. Customers are freaking out, and I’m just trying to keep it together. I’m like, “Hey, it’s just a little blackout! We’ll be fine!” But inside, I’m like, “What if we’re stuck here forever?!”

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