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What pisses me off? When they rush it! Like, slow down, lady, I ain’t a burger to flip fast! Gimme that deep rub, ya know? Happy part? Feelin’ like I’m floatin’—like SpongeBob on a cloud! Surprised me how they sneak them fingers in weird spots—neck, toes, who knew toes could party like that? Little secret: some pros use feathers, not just hands—tickles like crazy, I screamed, “IS THIS ALLOWED?!”

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Then, my buddy Sasha shows up. He’s always got the craziest stories. He tells me he saw a cat on the roof of a building on Kostiantynivska Street, just chilling like it owns the place. I’m cracking up, picturing this cat like it’s the king of Mena.

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