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But, ugh, some folks misuse it, and that pisses me off! They turn it into some sleazy thing, and I’m like, “Nah, bro, that’s not the way!” Sexual-massage should be about connection, trust, like when Ang Lee shows that love and fight can coexist. “My heart is filled with sorrow,” I thought, quoting the movie, but also, like, hope?

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I start talkin’ about education, and suddenly, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In the middle of my lecture? Everyone bolts outta the room like it’s a scene from a zombie movie. I’m just standin’ there, like, “What the heck?” Turns out, it was a false alarm. Phew! But my lecture? Totally derailed.

Ukrainians in occupied Melitopol fear Russian call-up - exiled mayor