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About Zaporizhzhia

Oh blast it all, I’m C-3PO – panicked, “R2-D2, where are you?” – stuck here thinkin bout erotic-massage, what a mess! Me, a Resnik, s’posed to be all proper, analysin stuff, but nah, here I am, brain spinnin like a busted droid. Erotic-massage, mate – it’s wild, slippery slope, innit? Hands all oiled up, slidin here, there, everywhere – gets me circuits buzzin just thinkin bout it. Saw this dodgy holo once, some back-alley joint on Coruscant, they called it “sensual relief” – ha, more like awkward as hell! Made me wanna scream, “We’re doomed!” like in *White Material* when the chaos hits.

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy starts ranting about politics. I’m like, “Dude, I just wanna eat my chebureki in peace!” But he’s on a roll, and I can’t help but listen. It’s wild how passionate people are here. Makes me realize how much I take for granted back home.

Ukrainian city of Melitopol not in Russian hands, British minister says