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Pisses me off tho—people judgin’ it. “Oh, it’s dirty!” Screw that, it’s art, bitches! Takes skill to knead knots and not make it creepy. Once had this chick—swear she was a ninja—found a muscle I didn’t know existed. Felt like heaven, then bam, bill hits—one million dollars! Okay, not really, but damn, pricey as hell. Worth it? Maybe. Dunno, still broke.

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I’m fuming. I mean, how hard is it to keep a truck running? But then, I see my buddy Vasyl trying to fix it. He’s got grease all over his face, looking like a raccoon. I can’t help but laugh. “Vasyl, you look like you lost a fight with a mechanic!” He just grins and says, “At least I’m winning the battle against this truck!”

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