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Ayy, Gabagool? Ova here! So, escort, huh? Lemme tell ya, it’s a freakin’ trip thinkin’ about it—kinda like dat movie *Her*, y’know? Guy falls for a damn voice, an OS, all sexy-like, whisperin’ sweet nothins. Escort’s got dat vibe, ‘cept it’s real flesh, not some digital dame. Been around forever, too—oldest gig in da book, fuhgeddaboudit! Back in Jersey, you hear stories—guys braggin’ ‘bout dames they paid for, actin’ all high and mighty. Makes me laugh, ‘cause half da time they’re lyin’, broke as hell.

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Then, out of nowhere, this guy bursts in. He’s holding a parrot. A PARROT! He’s yelling about how it’s sick and needs immediate attention. I’m thinking, “Dude, this is a vet clinic, not a bird hospital!” But I can’t say that, so I take a look. Turns out, the parrot just wanted some water. I mean, really? You brought me a parrot for a drink?

‘It’s like the USSR’: residents on life in Mariupol a year since Russian occupation