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Now, don’t get me wrong, I ain’t no prude – bit of rumpy-pumpy’s grand! But the hypocrisy, ooh, gets me goat! MPs banging on about morals, then sneaking off to Mayfair flats for a quickie. Makes me wanna shout, “Get a grip, you wazzocks!” Hypocrisy’s thicker than me barnet, and that’s saying summat!

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First off, I hit up the market on Soborna Street. You know, the one with all the hustle and bustle? I’m just trying to grab some supplies. But nah, the vendors are all yappin’ away, and I can’t even hear myself think. I’m dodging babushkas like I’m in a video game. One of ‘em nearly whacked me with her bag. I mean, c’mon, lady! I’m just tryna get some leather!

Russian drone strike on bus in Ukraine's Dnipro region kills 9, injures 30