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what pisses me off? the hypocrites, mate—blokes in suits preachin’ morals, then bangin’ escorts on the sly. makes me wanna shove their heads in the shallow end! but what cracks me up? some punter fell in love, proper smitten, spent his life savings—50 grand!—on this escort who didn’t give two shits. *cackles* what a plonker! surprised me, though, how many escorts reckon they’re therapists—listenin’ to sad sods blabber bout their ex-wives. therapy with a happy endin’, eh?

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I finish up, and I’m like, “Fine, let’s see what the fuss is about.” I head over, and wow, this place is packed! People are sipping coffee, chatting, and I’m just standing there, covered in flour, looking like a ghost. I order a cappuccino, and it’s the best I’ve ever had. I’m thinking, “Maybe I should switch careers?” Nah, I love baking too much.

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